


It Was All You’ve Ever Known

by aretix9200



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Body Horror, Borderline Afterlife, Definitely Out Of Character For A While, Dream In A Coma, Hidden Quote From Scarlet Witch, Jean Grey Is Best Mutant, Jean Saves Peter’s Life By Sacrificing Her Own But Is She Really Dead, Literally Caught Somewhere Between Life And Death, Memory Loss But It’s For The Best, Mentions Of Wanda And Lorna, Mutants, Peter Dies Later In Ultron But Not Today, Peter Is Pietro’s Nickname, Peter Sees The Phoenix Force Affect Jean, Poor Peter, Queen Vuk Had Good Intentions But Bad Morales, Scott Likes To Eat Mochi, Self-Esteem Issues, Wade Wilson Knows this is Fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 16:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20567129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aretix9200/pseuds/aretix9200
Summary: The pain. The agonizing pain that shot through your entire body was the last thing you remembered before the world turned black. It wasn’t The Rolling Stones who turned it black either.It was the sovereign of mutants: the Dark Phoenix herself.And pain was all you’ve ever known.(Inspired by the ending of “Dark Phoenix” and the song “Birth” by Snare Cover)





	1. Shinrabansho

The pain. The agonizing pain that shot through your whole body was the last thing you remembered before the world turned black.

But then again, pain was pain. It was all you’ve ever known.

And there you stood, as miserable as a loser could get, standing on a not-so-familiar pool with no horizon. How did you get here?

There in front of you stood the man you knew as your father. He probably didn’t know. He was probably that stupid. It’s not like he’s going to be Darth Vader and step out anytime soon.

How many names has he been known by? Max Eisenhart, Erik Lehnsherr... Magneto.

Last time you saw him, he was practically brainwashed by that one En Sabah Nur freak. But that “I’m so almighty” guy just ended up breaking your leg, and then snapped your wrist like a twig. Your bad wrist.

Sometimes, as you dream, you can hear your own screams echo throughout your mind.

But now, you have a chance to tell him. He’s right there in front of you. But is this him? Where are you again? This place wasn’t familiar. And why is he leaving you and why does he send metal dog tags and why does it make your body ache -

And there you go. The shards of metal pin you to the ground as the world gets darker and darker. Your flesh and blood start to burn, sort of like a soup for the kids back at the school who couldn’t wait for supper.

You can’t help but scream in pain. Again.

When you were born along with Wanda, you were quiet. But inside, you were a screaming mess: your father’s rage. (Pfft. Wanda was serenity.) You cried out for the people Erik lost in the past and the people he would lose in the future. But this is your own pain, not his.

And that pain is everywhere. It leaks through your eyes, ears, nose, and mouth in the form of blood. But it wasn’t just your face. You could feel all the metal tear into your leg, wrist, and now ribs. Flesh, bone, blood. Burns like hell.

And yet, you don’t pass out. How unmerciful.

Pain was no stranger to you. But this really was hell, and for once, your pride has dropped. You were frightened. You wanted Wanda to come and save you and tell Erik about her being his daughter. But she can’t control your fear. Only her own.

It hurts. (You want to stop shrinking and expanding at the same time.)

IT HURTS. (You want to stop tasting blood and metal in your mouth.)

I T H U R T S. . .

And it got to the point that you didn’t want to think about Erik, or your mother, or Wanda, or little Lorna. You didn’t want to think about the time you stole Scott’s mochi. You didn’t want to think about how the science dissection lab made you throw up.

You didn’t want to know which way was up and which way was down anymore. You didn’t want to know how much viscera was spilt from your body. You didn’t even want to know whether your name was Peter or Pietro.

And this was what you got for helping Erik escape the Pentagon. This was what you got for saving kids from an exploding building. This was what you got for thinking you had a chance.

All losers get their faces burnt and die sooner or later. You were no exception.

A pushy liquid threatened to come out of your eyes as you felt your regrets scrape through your muscle and bone. But it wasn’t blood. Wasn’t this feeling called “cry”? You even forgot about your feelings? You really were a loser.

You cry because you decided to give up. You had nothing else to do. Well, besides do the best thing you could do: run. You’ve been running your whole life from your self esteem.

This time, you couldn’t run. You could only wait for your sense of self to disappear.

But you started to hear crying that wan’t your own.

Looking forward into the black abyss of nowhere, you could make out a woman with fiery red hair absorbing a cosmic entity. It was truly something to behold. But she was screaming from fear. Was that lady more frightened than you?

When you looked closer into her eyes, the metal beginning to let go of your body, you found out that her eyes were like yours. Not in color or shape, but in emotion. It comforted you, knowing someone else was going through something similar, if not even more intense.

And there were others like you as well, all watching this queen of your kind. (What did the Professor call it again? Cereal or something?) You could hear a furious Ororo cursing herself for trying to hurt the woman, although it would be for the best. You heard a confused Kurt, disoriented and wondering if he could fix it.

You heard a desperately crying Scott...

And he stopped crying and ran over to you.

“Hey again, Peter! Okay, so apparently, we sold our souls or something, and I’m not sad anymore! Were you scared? Come on. Hank, Ororo, and Kurt are waiting. You’re getting us worried.”

You take his hand and smile as the two of you reunite with your friends. Somewhere, a light shines from the other side, and you knew to keep following them. Scott looked behind his shoulder at you. “You need to come back for something important. You need to tell him. Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, Scott,” you whisper.


	2. Bureikou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here goes nothing. (Again.)
> 
> (Scott needs mochi. It is his new favorite food from now on. And Ororo needs love. She saves everyone’s ass and doesn't get half the recognition she deserves. And Kurt is blue. If he were green, he world die.)

“Peter. Pietro! Peter, wake the fuck up!”

You jolt up, and the pain you’ve known from years ago shoots through your body once more.

But then it stops when you see your friends. You almost laugh as you witness the humor of Scott eating mochi.

“I didn’t see that coming,” You mutter to yourself before carefully turning to face Kurt. “Fuck. How long have I been out?”

“Just a few days,” replies Ororo. “Jubilee said we could find you here. Hank’s not here right now, though. He’s talking with the Professor right now. Right now, it’s just me, Scott, and Kurt.”

Wait. Wasn’t there another person somewhere?

“Wasn’t here someone else here?” They actually look worried after you ask. “I could have sworn there was,” you add. Was there another person?

Ororo’s breath wavers and sweats. Kurt gulps and places his head in his hands. Scott comes over to you and say,

“Her name was Jean. Jean Grey. She was our saving grace and destruction at the same time, and we didn’t even know it until it was too late.”

Jean? Was that the cosmic woman from the dream you had? You shake your head and reply with:

“Who’s Jean?”

The look on Scott’s face makes your heart break yet another inch.

Over.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Whew! So I was rather pissed when no Dadneto happened in Dark Phoenix. However, I was surprised when Jean reunited with her own father, albeit for a short time. I loved the soundtrack. It reminded me of Made in Abyss :)
> 
> I did a rather angsty fic this time, fits Dark Phoenix better, especially it’s bittersweet ending. But I also wanted to do this fic in a more metaphorical and abstract way, this this was born. This is my first fic ever, I hope you “enjoyed” it.


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